Alone
by Ani-maniac494
Summary: Maybe some women would have envied her position had they known, but pretending to be a man had its own price, and sometimes, Nefer-Tina felt the cost.


Timeframe: Set pre-series, in ancient Egypt, before Scarab's betrayal.

Disclaimer: It's still not mine, but Nefer-Tina seems interested in hanging around. Can I keep her?

A/N: This fic is something of a prequel to my other Mummies Alive fic, "Requiem," but you don't have to read that one to make sense of this one. :) For those who might not remember, Kenna is the friend of Nefer-Tina's that appeared in the episode "Eye of the Beholder." Kenna did not know that Nefer-Tina was a woman. In "Eye of the Beholder," Chontra pretended to be Kenna to drive Nefer-Tina from the Sphinx.

As always, I thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for His incredible mercy and grace.

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**Alone**

Nefer-Tina had always enjoyed visiting the marketplace. The noise of the crowds, the chaos of the streets invigorated her. Yet, as she stood by her chariot, waiting for Ja-Kal to return from his errands, she wished she were anywhere else, because today, everywhere she looked, she saw only reminders of what she could not have.

Love. Marriage. A family.

They would never be hers. She'd thought she'd already come to terms with that.

The feel of the wind against her face, the sight of the landscape rushing past her, the sound of the horses hooves striking the earth…she could not have that and have a husband. One or the other, but not both.

Besides, what husband would want a wife who spent her days dressed as a man?

But this morning…this morning she had seen Kenna. It had been wonderful to talk with him again. She saw him so rarely now that she spent most of her time in the service of the Pharaoh, and he was always so busy as well, still preoccupied with the races.

Now, he'd told her, he was preoccupied with something else too.

A woman.

A beautiful woman with sparkling eyes, full red lips, and a brilliant smile. Kenna hadn't spoken of marriage, but given the way his face had lit up as he talked about her, Nefer-Tina wondered if that were just over the horizon.

Her eyes suddenly stinging with tears, she'd wished him every happiness, then hurried from the royal stables where he'd found her, shouting over her shoulder that the Prince had called for his chariot.

Her heart had been heavy ever since, and it was heavier still, here in the marketplace, where her gaze wandered of its own accord.

A group of women stood together at a nearby merchant's stall, talking and laughing, teasing each other with gentle affection. Nefer-Tina watched them with a sense of longing. She was not without friends, certainly, but the other Guardians…they were her brothers. She fought alongside them, would willingly give her life for any of them, but they treated her as a man. They spoke to her as a man, joked with her as a man. To them, she was Nefer, a fellow warrior, a Guardian. Their friendship was no less genuine for it, but it was also very different.

Her feet carried her closer to the women before she'd realized it.

Their conversation stopped as soon as they saw her.

"Can we help you, sir?" one of them asked. Her voice was polite, respectful in view of Nefer-Tina's rank, but it lacked the easy warmth it had held just moment's before.

"No, thank you, madam," she said quickly, and retreated to the chariot once more.

Yet, as she resumed her place near the horses, her eyes were drawn to a young couple strolling through the streets, arm in arm. Merchants shouted advertisements for their wares, but the couple paid them no mind. Smiling tenderly, the man moved a strand of hair behind the woman's ear, and Nefer-Tina quickly turned away.

This time it was a young mother who caught her attention. The woman sat under an overhang in the shade, her little boy's feet pressing into her thighs as she held his small hands, helping him balance as he stood in her lap. When his wobbly legs gave way, she caught him, raising him in the air and pressing noisy kisses to his belly, making him giggle.

Nefer-Tina's chest ached suddenly.

But as the ache grew, something bumped against her back, something soft and warm, and insistent. She started in surprise then turned around to find one of the horses bobbing his head, watching her, his eyes oddly knowing. She managed a small smile and ran her hand down his blaze, and through his mane. He nuzzled her in response, pressing his nose against her palm, as though he had sensed her mood. He snorted softly, stomping a hoof, and Nefer-Tina felt her heart lighten for a moment.

Relieved to have something to occupy her attention, she spend the remainder of her wait shooing persistent flies away from the horses and checking over the reins. But, her expression must still have been melancholy when Ja-Kal returned, because he frowned at her in concern as they took their places in the chariot once more.

"Nefer? Are you alright?"

Nefer-Tina closed her eyes briefly, willing away the lingering sorrow.

When she opened her eyes again, she offered the leader of the Guardians a respectful nod. "I am fine, Ja-Kal."

With a flick of her wrist, she urged the horses forward, leaving the sights and sounds of the marketplace behind her.

She'd made her choice.

**Fin**

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think!

Take care and God bless!

Ani-maniac494 :)


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